Loneliness seems like a vague concept, one that would carry very little weight emotionally, yet it is a problem that many people experience. It is not like depression, in that there is no real medical diagnosis and no concrete set of symptoms, but the emotion of loneliness is often just as painful. This emotion can be caused by any number of things, large or small, and is often a combination of a few different emotional challenges. For loneliness, there is really no one solution. Different techniques work for different people. However, many people search for the cure externally when often the problem and solution can be found internally.

The two main factors affecting loneliness are your relationships with others, and your relationship with yourself. Outside sources, particularly people you are close to or have frequent contact with, can be major players in your emotional state. Positive, healthy relationships can keep you from experiencing loneliness. Negative relationships, on the other hand, will sometimes create the base of the emotions that cause loneliness. The problem snowballs from there.

Abuse, rejection, and bad family relationships are three external sources that can have an extremely powerful affect on your internal emotional state. Many people suffering from loneliness have experienced one or all of these at some point in their lifetime. The reason these are so powerful is because they lead to an emotional state where a person loses respect for himself as a person, feels unloved, incapable and unworthy of love, and too often believes that he is a worthless individual. In his mind if he is worthless to himself, why would be worth anything to another person? Internal sources causing loneliness are those created by the person experiencing it. Often, shy people are lonely because they feel like they can't connect with other people or they don't know how to fit in. People who suffer from low self-esteem also experience loneliness; the fear of rejection can be more powerful than the desire to overcome this emotion.

As there are external causes for loneliness, so there are external solutions that can help to solve the problem. Joining a craft group, book club, volunteer service, or religious group can ease feelings of loneliness and help you begin to see the value in yourself. However, external sources are not the only solution and shouldn't be the only source you look to. Loneliness is caused by feeling emotionally insecure in some way. You feel incapable, scared of others and rejection, or have the need for others to give you validation. These emotions feel strong and controlling, but they are not as strong as you; they can be overcome.

To start changing these emotions, create a goal or a number of goals for yourself and do something every day that will help you to achieve the goals. When you achieve a goal, you gain confidence, both in yourself and in your abilities. As your confidence grows, so will your courage to approach and befriend others, as well as your belief that you are worth something. On top of the goals, you may also want to do something every day that creates value for yourself. It doesn't have to be anything major. It can be something simple like dressing yourself up a bit, taking a few minutes to read part of a good book, or going for a walk. The point is to take time for you because when you take time for you, you start to feel more like a person and less like an outcast. Again, it can help to build confidence. Also, by taking time for yourself you can really learn to enjoy the benefits of being alone so when you are alone, you won't have to be lonely.

Sometimes you can fight loneliness by developing an attitude of gratitude. This may take some work and practice, but if you can learn to see the good in everything and in your life, it can become difficult to experience loneliness. This is simply because loneliness is a negative emotion and if you are focused on the positive, there really is no room for the negative. Positive daily affirmations can help you change your thinking. Also, when you notice that you are thinking negatively, change those thoughts to something positive. It takes some work, but it can be done and it is worth it.

Loneliness doesn't have to be a significant part of your life. For most people this emotion will come and go, not staying long enough to be a problem. Usually loneliness is brought on by stressful periods or changing relationships. By keeping a positive attitude and remaining happy with who you are, especially during the difficult times, you may just find that there is no room in your life for loneliness. Loneliness is an emotion that can be controlled. It doesn't have to control you